How to Heal After a Breakup: Proven Techniques (From Science)

Here are some scientifically proven ways to heal and recover from a breakup:

Practice self-compassion

 Being kind to yourself can help you move forward and heal from the pain of the breakup. Research suggests that self-compassion can help reduce feelings of stress, anxiety, and depression after a breakup.Self-compassion is an important practice that can help you feel more at ease with yourself and improve your overall well-being. Here are some tips to help you practice self-compassion:

What should you not do after your breakup
What should you not do after your breakup

Treat yourself with kindness: Be gentle with yourself and speak to yourself in a kind and caring way. If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t say it to yourself.

Acknowledge your suffering: It’s important to recognize that everyone experiences pain, sadness, and difficulty at times. Acknowledge your own suffering and know that it’s okay to feel what you’re feeling.

Practice mindfulness: Pay attention to the present moment without judgment. This can help you be more aware of your thoughts and feelings, and help you respond to them in a kind and caring way.

Give yourself permission to make mistakes: What should you not do after your breakupRemember that making mistakes is a normal part of the learning process. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Instead, use it as an opportunity to learn and grow.

Engage in positive activities: Participating in activities that bring you joy and positivity can help you shift your focus away from the pain of the breakup. Activities such as exercise, creative hobbies, and spending time with friends can help improve your mood and overall well-being.

Seek social support

 Research shows that having social support can help people recover from a breakup more quickly. Reach out to friends and family who care about you and spend time with them. Joining support groups or seeking therapy can also be helpful.Social support is an essential aspect of maintaining good mental health and well-being. When faced with challenging situations or stressors, seeking social support can help individuals cope more effectively and feel less alone.

Here are some tips for seeking social support:

Reach out to trusted friends or family members: Identify individuals in your support network who you trust and feel comfortable talking to. Reach out to them and express your feelings and concerns.

Join a support group: Consider joining a support group related to the issue you are dealing with. This can provide you with an opportunity to connect with others who are going through similar experiences.

Seek professional help: If you are struggling with mental health issues, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor. They can provide you with guidance and support in managing your mental health.

Stay connected with others: Make an effort to stay connected with friends and family members, even if it is just through phone calls or video chats. Social support can help you feel less isolated and more connected to others.

Reflect on the relationship

 Reflecting on what went wrong in the relationship can help you gain insight into your own behaviors and patterns, which can help you avoid similar issues in future relationships.Reflection on a relationship can be a valuable exercise for gaining insight and understanding into the dynamics and patterns of the relationship. Here are some prompts to guide the reflection process:

What were the positive aspects of the relationship? Consider the things that made the relationship enjoyable and fulfilling, such as shared interests, common values, or positive experiences.

What were the negative aspects of the relationship? Reflect on the challenges and difficulties that arose in the relationship, such as conflicts, disagreements, or differences in communication styles.

How did each person contribute to the relationship? Consider the roles and responsibilities each person had in the relationship and how they impacted the dynamic.

What patterns emerged in the relationship? Look for recurring patterns in the relationship, such as cycles of conflict or avoidance.

What did you learn from the relationship? Reflect on the lessons you learned from the relationship, such as how to communicate effectively, how to set healthy boundaries, or how to prioritize your needs.

What could have been done differently? Consider how the relationship could have been improved, such as by addressing conflicts more directly or by prioritizing individual needs and boundaries.

Remember that reflection on a relationship can be a difficult and emotional process, but it can also be an opportunity for growth and learning. Be kind and compassionate with yourself as you reflect, and seek support from trusted friends or a mental health professional if needed.

Find meaning in the experience: Research suggests that finding meaning in a difficult experience can help people recover more quickly. Try to focus on what you learned from the relationship and how it helped you grow as a person.


In conclusion, seeking social support and reflecting on relationships can both be valuable practices for promoting mental health and well-being. Seeking social support from trusted friends, family members, or mental health professionals can help individuals cope with challenging situations and feel less isolated. Reflecting on relationships can provide insight into the dynamics and patterns of the relationship, allowing individuals to learn from their experiences and grow in their relationships. Remember to be kind and compassionate with yourself throughout these processes, and to seek help when needed. With these practices, individuals can promote their mental health and build healthier relationships with others.

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